I cannot imagine the historical trauma that your family has endured and I’m grateful to hear your story. I’m so sorry that this was part of your history and for the suffering you and they have endured. I didn’t quite understand the mention of what a “child trauma therapist”would approve of but perhaps that is because I am a therapist myself. Regardless, I sense your longing to connect or reconnect to people in a way that used to feel possible and now feels impossible. I can relate and I think many people can. What I’ve come to understand is that allowing anyone to share our space, our time and our thoughts in the way you describe, requires both parties to come together with the same intention. Or it at least requires some goodwill. I can wish for connection with neighbors to hear and be heard but I also believe that if basic human decency cannot be established, then is a very loving act to then not engage with people, even if you love them. You can love people and hold goodwill for them, and also not have them in your life. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Hi Jennifer, thank you so much for your thoughts. What I meant with the "child-trauma therapist" remark is that exposing children of young age to such horrifying stories, is not necessarily the best way to pass on family lore.
I fully agree that, sadly, sometimes the best thing we can do is not engage.
Again, really appreciate you taking the time to engage with me here.
Thank you for sharing your personal family’s story with us…..
My mother’s parents also survived the Shoah, and what our ancestors endured gives me a special gratitude for my own life, gratitude for good people, gratitude to live in a good country of civil justice and police systems, where criminals and terrorists are arrested and separated from civilians. It’s also a reminder that evil people still exist and are allowed to roam free and terrorize civilians without penalty or arrest in certain countries.
Thank you so much for sharing and engaging in conversation here, Naomi. I confess that I have a hard time with the notion of "evil people." Evil? Yes. People behaving in ways that are evil? Yes. But I've always found this quote by Solzhenitsyn to be closer to what I hold onto. “If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
There are many disturbing things about the world scene. I belong to a faith that believes the future will be bright. Children love each other is of course what we need to do. In our faith war is a last resort. It is meant to stop someone like Hitler and it should be a joint effort from many many countries who want justice in the world banding together and stopping this country, group or individual. This is after other efforts which do not require this extreme measure have been exhausted.
In our daily lives is it possible to slightly reduce the hate and violence in our world by looking for opportunities to love others, and sometimes those who are hard to love. Maybe we can be moved to say a prayer for an individual or group or at least send a kind thought into the universe for them. Maybe we could do that once and maybe that is all we have time for - all we can manage, or maybe we would pray for that person or group for a month. Maybe instead of being so upset at people who are doing us wrong we could move to be more loving towards their imperfections at least in our minds. Maybe there are bigger steps we could take or want to take - dialogs where people of different ethnicities share on a more personal level - figuring out where there is unity and working to expand on that. Maybe there could be groups getting together to send appropriate aid to war torn nations. Maybe we want to learn more about the history of violence in some war torn country and look for and support any efforts to bring peace. Maybe there are homeless people and a person could find out ways to be truly supportive. Maybe a group could form addressing bullying in schools. What are the best programs to work with that. Maybe a person could find out a challenging situation in their own community that seems to be one at or near the top of the list that could either be prayed for, kind thoughts sent in that direction or maybe volunteering in some way.
We should not feel helpless. There are many things we can do to make this world a better place for our children.
I cannot imagine the historical trauma that your family has endured and I’m grateful to hear your story. I’m so sorry that this was part of your history and for the suffering you and they have endured. I didn’t quite understand the mention of what a “child trauma therapist”would approve of but perhaps that is because I am a therapist myself. Regardless, I sense your longing to connect or reconnect to people in a way that used to feel possible and now feels impossible. I can relate and I think many people can. What I’ve come to understand is that allowing anyone to share our space, our time and our thoughts in the way you describe, requires both parties to come together with the same intention. Or it at least requires some goodwill. I can wish for connection with neighbors to hear and be heard but I also believe that if basic human decency cannot be established, then is a very loving act to then not engage with people, even if you love them. You can love people and hold goodwill for them, and also not have them in your life. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Hi Jennifer, thank you so much for your thoughts. What I meant with the "child-trauma therapist" remark is that exposing children of young age to such horrifying stories, is not necessarily the best way to pass on family lore.
I fully agree that, sadly, sometimes the best thing we can do is not engage.
Again, really appreciate you taking the time to engage with me here.
Thank you for sharing your personal family’s story with us…..
My mother’s parents also survived the Shoah, and what our ancestors endured gives me a special gratitude for my own life, gratitude for good people, gratitude to live in a good country of civil justice and police systems, where criminals and terrorists are arrested and separated from civilians. It’s also a reminder that evil people still exist and are allowed to roam free and terrorize civilians without penalty or arrest in certain countries.
Thank you so much for sharing and engaging in conversation here, Naomi. I confess that I have a hard time with the notion of "evil people." Evil? Yes. People behaving in ways that are evil? Yes. But I've always found this quote by Solzhenitsyn to be closer to what I hold onto. “If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
Thank you again, Naomi, sending much love!
There are many disturbing things about the world scene. I belong to a faith that believes the future will be bright. Children love each other is of course what we need to do. In our faith war is a last resort. It is meant to stop someone like Hitler and it should be a joint effort from many many countries who want justice in the world banding together and stopping this country, group or individual. This is after other efforts which do not require this extreme measure have been exhausted.
In our daily lives is it possible to slightly reduce the hate and violence in our world by looking for opportunities to love others, and sometimes those who are hard to love. Maybe we can be moved to say a prayer for an individual or group or at least send a kind thought into the universe for them. Maybe we could do that once and maybe that is all we have time for - all we can manage, or maybe we would pray for that person or group for a month. Maybe instead of being so upset at people who are doing us wrong we could move to be more loving towards their imperfections at least in our minds. Maybe there are bigger steps we could take or want to take - dialogs where people of different ethnicities share on a more personal level - figuring out where there is unity and working to expand on that. Maybe there could be groups getting together to send appropriate aid to war torn nations. Maybe we want to learn more about the history of violence in some war torn country and look for and support any efforts to bring peace. Maybe there are homeless people and a person could find out ways to be truly supportive. Maybe a group could form addressing bullying in schools. What are the best programs to work with that. Maybe a person could find out a challenging situation in their own community that seems to be one at or near the top of the list that could either be prayed for, kind thoughts sent in that direction or maybe volunteering in some way.
We should not feel helpless. There are many things we can do to make this world a better place for our children.
Indeed, Robin, we are not helpless and there is much that we, each of us, can do to tilt the scale toward hope.