I’ve been thinking about everything you raise in your essay and keep coming back to it. Somehow knowing someone you know is going through something you are makes you feel you are keeping company with those your admire.
To be honest the fertility story that inspired me most was your own, beautifully documented in your book Inconceivable which I read voraciously. That was the book that I inhaled repeatedly and passionately digested again, and again. Like Naomi Watts Inconceivable was the book that changed things for me.
The teaching story you reference in your essay touched a nerve. I can relate as my own struggle with creating a family banged me up, my heart was confused, my heart was bruised, I was lost and one thing after another seemed to derail me, including, mostly, my own orphans (see Julia Indichova’s OVUM practice for definition of orphan). The final straw was losing my mother who I wanted to share motherhood with so badly. I was certainly limping at the end, everywhere I looked I felt at the end of my rope, in my marriage, now or never was the phrase at the end I felt was most honest, and in the end, I wrestled my way out of the myth of infertility and become a mother my way and I have a miraculous son who when I stare into his eyes I know I needed to wrestle with infertility. In the end your guidance “Is motherhood non-negotiable for you” saved my life. My story was meant to unfold the way exactly the way it was meant to but even more because of the Fertile Heart practice. I say let’s meet infertility head on and wrestle away. You may find yourself wrestling with something that saves your life, I know I did.
Anne, You really, really wrestled until you were blessed. I have such deep respect for the way you kept walking toward your beautiful son. And I've been blessed by being invited to be part of your story. This idea of "not letting go until we're blessed" is so important. As you know, being blessed doesn't mean walking away with a child in our arms. But I find it heartbreaking to meet someone who comes to Fertile Heart after 21 failed treatments and feels so utterly defeated and betrayed. I think for someone with that kind of history it's even more important to do whatever it takes to find a way to a blessing. Thank you, Annie for taking the time to respond. I know how busy you are. Big hug!
Very interesting and important questions you are raising. I've been thinking about them for the past two days and I still don't know how to answer them.
They only made me remember the growth, the strength, the healing, the support, and the hope I got from the OVUM practice and my wish that every person going through this can feel the same. I think you are onto something and I am always up for engaging in a conversation that reaches as many as possible.
Thank you for thinking and engaging here, Carolina. Your wish that every person going through this challenge could find a new, more life-affirming way of moving through it, has been my wish from the start. That was the driving impulse for everything. It's what keeps me going with the whole Fertile Heart project. So...let's keep thinking and engaging.:)
This is such a great article, Julia. There is something special, even magical, when a group of women meet and share. There is that special space where some things you heard before suddenly mean something else and you get to your "aha" moment - that was there all along.
Interesting question regarding "being blessed before you move on". For me, being blessed means always following that inner voice that "knows" where or when to move on but not as defeat. Moving on to something bigger.
Fertility challenge is a very special challenge that opened doors to many hidden orphans that I wasn't aware of. Your books and work with you, Julia, has helped me understand myself better and made me curious about what else is all of this journey about. I had particularly difficult last few months, loosing my mom, challenging family situation with my brother and his son and several other non-inspiring parental stories around me - but my inner voice still says "keep going", even though all other "age, hope and faith related" alarms are on.
Thank you for this! Yes, yes, yes! There is definitely magic in a circle where we're safe enough to stay open to what wants to be "conceived." It's been such an honor to walk beside you in these last couple of months and witness what the pain of loss also opened up for you. And as you know, I don't mean to minimize the grief of losing a parent. It's very real. But it's also opening you to love that was always there, but perhaps you've never been quite as available for it as you are now. Thank you again for coming to visit here:).
“How might we tell our stories in a way that honors the pain without feeding the fear?”
For me, this question struck out powerfully like a church gong being sounded. That really is the challenge, isn’t it? Because we HAVE experienced something undeniably painful, and hurtful and disheartening on this journey; but the OVUM tools are helping me to let go of fear, and exhale despair, negatively and hopelessness and inhale and hold on to hope and joy and positivity as my mast to cycle through to the future. To keep asking of ourselves the questions that lead to our healing, to do that gently and with the utmost care and love.
I’ve been thinking about everything you raise in your essay and keep coming back to it. Somehow knowing someone you know is going through something you are makes you feel you are keeping company with those your admire.
To be honest the fertility story that inspired me most was your own, beautifully documented in your book Inconceivable which I read voraciously. That was the book that I inhaled repeatedly and passionately digested again, and again. Like Naomi Watts Inconceivable was the book that changed things for me.
The teaching story you reference in your essay touched a nerve. I can relate as my own struggle with creating a family banged me up, my heart was confused, my heart was bruised, I was lost and one thing after another seemed to derail me, including, mostly, my own orphans (see Julia Indichova’s OVUM practice for definition of orphan). The final straw was losing my mother who I wanted to share motherhood with so badly. I was certainly limping at the end, everywhere I looked I felt at the end of my rope, in my marriage, now or never was the phrase at the end I felt was most honest, and in the end, I wrestled my way out of the myth of infertility and become a mother my way and I have a miraculous son who when I stare into his eyes I know I needed to wrestle with infertility. In the end your guidance “Is motherhood non-negotiable for you” saved my life. My story was meant to unfold the way exactly the way it was meant to but even more because of the Fertile Heart practice. I say let’s meet infertility head on and wrestle away. You may find yourself wrestling with something that saves your life, I know I did.
Anne, You really, really wrestled until you were blessed. I have such deep respect for the way you kept walking toward your beautiful son. And I've been blessed by being invited to be part of your story. This idea of "not letting go until we're blessed" is so important. As you know, being blessed doesn't mean walking away with a child in our arms. But I find it heartbreaking to meet someone who comes to Fertile Heart after 21 failed treatments and feels so utterly defeated and betrayed. I think for someone with that kind of history it's even more important to do whatever it takes to find a way to a blessing. Thank you, Annie for taking the time to respond. I know how busy you are. Big hug!
Thank you for sharing that Anne, it’s incredibly uplifting 🙏🏽 And thank you Julia for these guidance and tools !
Very interesting and important questions you are raising. I've been thinking about them for the past two days and I still don't know how to answer them.
They only made me remember the growth, the strength, the healing, the support, and the hope I got from the OVUM practice and my wish that every person going through this can feel the same. I think you are onto something and I am always up for engaging in a conversation that reaches as many as possible.
Thank you for thinking and engaging here, Carolina. Your wish that every person going through this challenge could find a new, more life-affirming way of moving through it, has been my wish from the start. That was the driving impulse for everything. It's what keeps me going with the whole Fertile Heart project. So...let's keep thinking and engaging.:)
This is such a great article, Julia. There is something special, even magical, when a group of women meet and share. There is that special space where some things you heard before suddenly mean something else and you get to your "aha" moment - that was there all along.
Interesting question regarding "being blessed before you move on". For me, being blessed means always following that inner voice that "knows" where or when to move on but not as defeat. Moving on to something bigger.
Fertility challenge is a very special challenge that opened doors to many hidden orphans that I wasn't aware of. Your books and work with you, Julia, has helped me understand myself better and made me curious about what else is all of this journey about. I had particularly difficult last few months, loosing my mom, challenging family situation with my brother and his son and several other non-inspiring parental stories around me - but my inner voice still says "keep going", even though all other "age, hope and faith related" alarms are on.
Thank you for this! Yes, yes, yes! There is definitely magic in a circle where we're safe enough to stay open to what wants to be "conceived." It's been such an honor to walk beside you in these last couple of months and witness what the pain of loss also opened up for you. And as you know, I don't mean to minimize the grief of losing a parent. It's very real. But it's also opening you to love that was always there, but perhaps you've never been quite as available for it as you are now. Thank you again for coming to visit here:).
“How might we tell our stories in a way that honors the pain without feeding the fear?”
For me, this question struck out powerfully like a church gong being sounded. That really is the challenge, isn’t it? Because we HAVE experienced something undeniably painful, and hurtful and disheartening on this journey; but the OVUM tools are helping me to let go of fear, and exhale despair, negatively and hopelessness and inhale and hold on to hope and joy and positivity as my mast to cycle through to the future. To keep asking of ourselves the questions that lead to our healing, to do that gently and with the utmost care and love.